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Day 1 - Meet Kornum

'Lo and behold, the newest champion of the light is here. His name is Kornum, and he'll try levelling as a tank MS/healer OS.

Now, Earthen Ring is an RP realm, so let's give him some backstory. He is very conscious about his height, but in fact thinking he's normal and everyone else is gigantic. He's a bit slow, considering gnomes to be, in fact, human children. He's pathologically afraid of booze. He's a little bit paranoid, as you can see from his bug eyes. He's also superstitious, and mumbles to himself a lot. He never showers.

As soon as Kornum appears, he's piled on top of a dwarf warrior called Swenson who's AFK. Kornum pokes him a bit, but Swenson never bats an eyelid. Hmmm. Maybe he's out to get me. I cautiously click on Joren Ironstock who's in front of me. He wants me to kill 6 Ironjaw Invaders, trogg mobs of which there's a huge pile of corpses around him. I suspect he wants to test my mettle, not actually help, since he's obviously more than capable of commiting Ironjaw Invader genocide himself. I use my Crusader Strike on 6 of them and soon enough they're dead. I report this to Joren who is unimpressed and orders me to kill 3 Ironjaw Goons on top of that. Nevertheless, he does give me some mail pants for my trouble and promises some boots too. As he does, the Headless Horseman of Hallow's End yells a limerick that could easily have been from a Tim Burton movie. I cower for a few seconds, then set off to make those Goons dead. As I kill the first one, I ding to level 2. Woohoo! I R POWERFUL NAO! I...erm...I mean...Excellent. For the Light. Yes.

The Headless Horseman has now issued about five limmericks/warnings/threats, but the fifth one is drowned by Kornum's barbaric yawn over the rooftops of the world. I tell Joren that I dealt with those pesky Goons. Sten Stoutarm, who's pacing close by, is impressed and asks me to help him give CPR to a few wounded dwarves. I tell him I'm on my lunch break and walk away, having decided to do one post per level till 80, per day after that.

I glance at Joren. Swenson is still sitting in front of him, still AFK. I look at him, emote /facepalm and log off.

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