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Day 2 - Are we there yet?

So as soon as Kornum reappears, Sten is still looking at me funnily. He's still yapping about me giving his posse some first aid. You'd think someone else would have gotten to it by now. Nevertheless, I use his bandages on the wounded soldiers which rejoin the fight, all the while completely ignoring the troggs fighting other dwarves. Hey I got my orders, alright? But this bunny is following me...hmm...why is that bunny rabbit jumping around close to me? I have a Monty Python flashback and Crusader Strike the hell out of it. So much for the fabled beast.

I report back to Sten with the satisfaction of a job well (albeit late) done, carefully not reporting about slaying the fabled beast, being humble and shit. Joren wants to talk to me now. What do you want? I'm with Sten now. You had your chance and you blew it. Oh, you want me to go talk to some girl in the inn? Ok, sure. Whatever gets me away from you, you lousy person. I walk up the path to Anvilmar.

Oh, cozy place they got here. Ale, food, a fire, a hot dwarven babe called Jona Ironstock walking around. Oh wait. Jona Ironstock? She's the one I'm supposed to talk to. I approach her from the back, examining her dwarven backside. For, erm, hidden weapons and stuff. She's hostile at first, but when I tell her Joren sent me she goes smooth. He must have put in a good word for me. Cheers, bro, you're a good wingman after all. She asks me to go get some booze. Oh yeah, it's on, baby! I'll get her drunk...but that would involve me getting near booze. Oh dear. I guess I'll have to try and overcome that fear if I'm going to be a Pa-laid-in. Across the room, Grunder puts his exclamation mark hat on and signals me to come talk to him. I cautiously do. He keeps talking about some forgotten dwarven artifacts of some sort. Sure, whatever gramps, I'll keep an eye out. Pfft. Old people, eh?

I go out and almost immediately find a barrel of Gnomebrew. Oh Gods! Oh Gods! Has it seen me yet? Should I run? Can I bubblehearth yet? Oh blast, it's on Jona's shopping list. I grind my teeth and approach it from the back, slowly, steadily. I jump it and after a brief struggle it's subdued. Oh thank gods, that went better than expected. Across the field are wolves, boars, bunnies. I slaughter every last bunny I come across. It seems the fabled beast has sowed some progeny, but I can't allow them to reach adulthood, I know what they'll become. I pet every single wolf and boar though. Ohh, soft!

I find a huge lumbering barrel of Stormbrew. The behemoth hasn't seen me yet, so I employ the same tactic I did for the Gnomebrew and it, too, is subdued. Hey, this is easier than I thought. Now where is Theramore Pale, my Moby Dick? Has Jona sent me on a wild booze chase? I venture further still, and finally, I find it. Bolstered from my earlier successes, I attack this one head on. Having startled it by my courageous attack, I make short work of it. Oh gods. Now I have three of them on me. They're on me. Oh gods, oh gods! I haul ass back to Anvilmar as fast as my feet will take me and throw them on Jona. Here, take them, they're on me! I can feel them on me!

Btw, gramps, here are you artifacts or whatever, found a bunch of them laying around. Here's five. There's more out there. Want me to go get them too for a fee? What do you mean, no? Aren't they like important to you? Then why did you ask me to get some in the first place? Sigh. Old people, eh? What's that? You want to me to get the ones Ironjaw Scavengers carry? In exchange for a nice shiny breastplate? Ok. But if you fail to deliver on the breastplate there will be trouble, old man. Oh, what's that, Jona? You want me to bring you WHAT?? Wolf skin and boar meat? But...but...soft! I should have guessed you're rotten to the core, what kind of person drinks booze eitherway? I'll do this one thing, but we're over, baby. Know that.

I walk back out, mercy killing wolves and boars with my gigantic hammer till Jona's cruel, cruel quota are met. It's better than whatever she would do to them herself if she got her hands on them. I'm weeping all the while. Goodbye, Mr. Wolf! Adieu, Mr. Boar! You're going to a better place now! I learn an important lesson though: while wolves always have skins, boars don't always have meat. I scribble that one down; it may save my life someday. I also come across an Ironjaw camp, filled with Scavengers. I politely ask them with my hammer for their artifacts, but they're holding out on me, pretending not to speak the language and whatnot. So I beat the artifacts out of them.

While this happens, I ding 3 without realizing it. And when I report back to Anvilmar, I ding 4. Blast! This wasn't supposed to happen! Jona keeps talking, but I phase out. She hands me a letter or something, and a stone or a rune or whatever, but I still can't hear her. I broke my promise of one level at a time. I emote /cry and log out, hoping this would be a fade to black of an emotional, heart-rending scene.

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